Matt Levine, owner of the Eldridge Bar which opened during the recession with butlers serving $30 cocktails to select cool kids, has somehow out-douched himself. I caught a peek at his remodeling of the restaurant in The Hotel on Rivington, LevantEAST. The menu is one huge cliche of tired bar foods, written in a French accent with a sprinkling of faddish food phrases like heirloom, organic, crudo and farmstead. He even describes the cuisine as a “combination of classic French bistro meeting American spa.” Douchetastic!
Is it just me or is this menu SUPREMELY boring and douchey? Hummus/pita and tomato/mozzarella are about as creative as caesar salad. Oh wait, that’s on the menu too. I liked the old Thor actually. Did it really go so downhill that this is the replacement?
Yes? Well here’s how. Paula Deen shows you how to make her “Lady’s Brunch Burger” which is topped with bacon and a fried egg, sandwiched betwen two glazed doughnuts. Has there every been a more horrific creation? I’m all for splurging once in awhile, but the last thing Americans need is to learn a new combination of artery clogging atrocities.
The best part about the video is that Paula makes no apologies for how ridiculous this is! It’s as if it’s completely normal. Apparently this burger is not Paula’s invention and has a history of being called “The Luther Burger.” It even has its own Wikipedia entry. If this burger sounds appealing to you, by all means, find the full recipe here and let me know how it tastes!
On the pages of New York Magazine,Gael Greene pioneered popular food writing through a time when Le Cirque had just opened, Chinese was the new trend, and New York gourmands were just learning about souffles. Forty years later after fancy French cuisine has become tired and the novelty is now back to basics (American barnyard is it?), Greene is still here. She has been relevant for four decades, an amazing feat for anybody whose job is to stay current. And yet last Wednesday, Greene was finally let go by New York Magazine, supposedly the latest victim of a magazine wishing to downsize.
Since I was too little to appreciate Gael Greene in her prime, I’ve typically thought of her as “some famous food person.” I wasn’t aware exactly how long Greene’s tenure had been and what a contribution she had made. Then last Summer I read her memoir, Insatiable Gael Greene, a thrilling look at the culinary progress in the U.S. as told by eyewitness Greene. Her stories are sexy and indulgent, about intense truffle tastings and romps with Elvis Prestley and Burt Reynolds. It’s not just what she did, it’s how she tells it. She weaves together metaphor upon metaphor, yet somehow it’s not contrived, but perfectly illustrative. For lack of a better phrase, it’s a feast for the senses. It’s amazing how much this woman has experienced and what fascinating musings she has brought to other food hedonists over the years.
But, the book is dotted with recipes that I frankly skimmed because they are far too, let’s see… “nostalgic” for my taste. Mushroom strudel and orange fruit soup remind me of my Grandma. So maybe Gael does need to slow down a bit, but I don’t think her importance should be minimized. I caught a glimpse of this story on Eater.com today and I think she deserves more than a few fleeting, whiny paragraphs. She helped create today’s food culture. Read her book, it’s a blast.
Trolling the foodie newsletters of this week and last, is a book that exclusively features testicle recipes. It’s called “Cooking with Balls”, authored by–get this– the “foremost authority on the subject of testicles”, Ljubomir Erovic of Serbia. How anybody gets that title, is beyond me. I’d rather not find out. He actually dedicated the book to his parents and grandmother, saying “To my parents and my grandmother Ruza Macic, for introducing me to the delicious world of testicles, even if they did lie about it!”
What are some of the recipes in said book, you ask?
Oh, testicle pizza, stew with goat testicles, testicles in wine, stew with bull penis, and the precious heart-shaped turkey testicles. I’m pretty adventurous, but this may be where I find my limits. You can check out a sample version, here.
In my daily lunch time perusal of gossipy food sides, I came across an interview on the Strong Buzz with recently ousted Nikki Cascone of Top Chef. I found one question she answered, particularly amusing:
SB: What is your definition of a great chef? NC: I think that a great chef needs to be a leader first and foremost. That Marco Pierre White brigade doesn’t exist anymore. People need to look up to you and you need to be able to lead and you need to know how to run a business because you’ll be out of business in three months if you don’t. A great chef needs to be very well rounded and have passion. I mean I cook every day and prep every day. I am here so that my cooks are here and learn from me and I am learning every day too. You can’t be afraid to do the work and lead by example.
Hmm, funny since Cascone left due to her complete and utter lack of leadership skils. In her one moment to shine and show her team how to prepare great Italian food, she fumbled. She didn’t trust any of her own ideas and couldn’t instruct anybody– even when they asked for her help! Lame…
Do you think she mucked it up royally or did she do her best? I invite any major Cascone fans (there must be some out there!) to dispute here.
From a post on SmartMoney.com yesterday, Jason Kephart rounded up some admissions that celebrity chefs have made in reference to things like their television shows, cookbooks, and appearances in their restaurants. For anyone with any knowledge of food reality, these should be commonly known, but it’s interesting to see them shamelessly admitted!
1. “I’m a celebrity first and second.”
Once chefs reach a certain level of fame, the actual cooking part of it becomes less important. Who could blame them? Very few successful restaurant chefs will say that they truly adore cooking for hordes of sometimes obnoxious, unforgiving customers.
2. “There’s absolutely no reason to buy my cookbook.”
Chefs admit the fact that one can find any recipe of theirs online, in most recipe databases, namely at FoodTV.com. Duh.
3. “Just because I have a cooking show does not mean that I’m a chef.”
We see this all the time with chefs on the Food Network like Rachael Ray and Sandra Lee. Sure people make fun but not everybody needs to cook like Mario Batali. There’s a celebrity chef for everybody. (even people with bad taste :P)
4. “Sex sells, even with foodies.”
There are other reasons for liking Giada DeLaurentis, Padma Lakshmi, and Dave Lieberman (personal fave), and it ain’t their cooking skills, refined as they might be.
5. “I’m addicted to porn– food porn that is.”
Making the food look good is important, ’nuff said.
6. “The dishes I make on TV don’t always work so great at home.”
This is a biggy as most of the dishes prepped on TV ( a la Food Network) are supposed to be made for prepping at home. See the full article for more on this.
7. “…and sometimes they’re just plain gross.”
In the past I’ve made a couple of recipes from chefs I was fond of, though they seemed questionable to me. I should have trusted my instincts! I learned that lesson the hard way.
8. “It might be my restaurant, but that doesn’t mean I cook there.”
Yea yea yea, if you expect Emeril and Mario Batali to be in all twenty of their restaurants on any given night, you’re sure to be disappointed.
9. “My show is one long commercial for my cookbooks.”
I kind of figured this one, but was surprised to hear people actually admit it.
10. “Bottom line: my celebrity status is great for business.”
So what about you? Are any of these surprising? Which celebrity chefs will you still respect no matter how fame got to their head?
I stumbled upon this hilarious list the other day that pokes fun at Food World Stars, New York Trends, and Products from the past year. I’m not a frequent reader of Insatiable Critic, but I just might have to become one after reading this spot-on list. Here are some of my favorites:
Conceptual Dining will become the rage. The pleasure derived from the dish is found in its description alone. The dish, in fact, does not exist. A small fee will be charged.
Jeffrey Chodorow and Frank Bruni will have a food fight in Madison Square Park televised by the Food Network. If Bruni loses he will be required to review restaurants in Des Moines for six months. If Chodorow is the loser he will be forbidden to open a new restaurant for three weeks.
Each restaurant will be allowed one “enjoy” per table per evening. Violators will be pelted with stale bread and inferior focaccia.
Restaurants will staff roving dining tutors to stop by each table with a five minute Tabletalk on the provenance of each ingredient on the menu. Before ordering, you will be quizzed on the content.
Small Plates will give way to no plates, a trend for even healthier portion control. All food will be served on oak leaves, in clam shells or onto your outstretched palm.
Wine makers will dose their generic table wine with immunity boosters, smart herbs and attach a siphon for sipping while biking. The trend will henceforth be known as imbiking.
Boutique chocolate will be labeled with the production date and the chocolatier’s license and cell phone numbers. Chocolate tastings will be widely promoted, as well as the usual What to Drink with Chocolate selected by chocoholics.
Cocktails can’t possibly get sweeter but they will. How about a carrot cake daiquiri? And pomegranate flavored vodka on the rocks made of smart water? I’ll take a yuzu martini, hold the kumquats please.
While enjoying my little lunch break here and doing my daily perusal of Eater, I’m reminded of a trend with restaurant names. Taking a quick peek at the Eater Radar of recently opened and reviewed restaurants we find:
Notice a trend? Not to get too Seinfeldian here but honestly…
What is the deal… with restaurants calling themselves by one, often made up, word? I’m sure there is a very logical explanation and thought process behind each of these but honestly, who can keep them all straight? What happened to the days when restaurants had normal names that actually sounded meaningful? What about Cookshop? Hearth? Or even Momofuku? (at least it’s more creative) Wouldn’t one prefer to separate themselves from the pack rather than being caught in a haze of the lexiconally challenged? For my out-of-state readers, is this happening near you as well or is it just a Manhattan trend?
Mercy! Uncle! Whatever the phrase is. I’ve had enough.
I don’t generally read Esquire for restaurant reviews. Or, anything for that matter. But I found this list of restaurant pet peeves and many were spot-on fantastic. Do any of these irk you as much as they do me? Or the dudes at Esquire?
Sommeliers for any liquid other than wine (tea, coffee, tequila, water) -never seen this but I bet a tea sommelier would be pretty ridiculous
Two extra dollars for steak sauce for your forty-two-dollar steak- charging for any type of extra condiment is absurd
Plates that are way, way bigger than the food
Menus that exceed the size of the table itself
Menus made of construction material (wood, metal, slate)
Having to settle up at the bar first
High-minded reinterpretations of the s’more
Cash only- A restaurant that has been in business for a long time should take credit cards. This also goes for spots that only accept American Express. That means you, Alta, as much as I love you.
Citing the name of the farm where the brussels sprouts came from
The manager’s “party” play-list played way too loud
According to an article in today’s New York Post, Mario Batali has been given the boot by the Food Network. Batali rose to success hosting such shows as “Molto Mario”, “Ciao America”, and a plethora of appearances on “Iron Chef” while expanding his restaurant empire including NYC spots: Babbo, Esca, Lupa, Otto, Casa Mono, and Del Posto. According to the post, the network discontinued Batali’s shows and Batali refused to make future appearances on Iron Chef if Molto Mario was going away. I’m actually surprised that the Food Network cut Mario as many would say that he is one of few chefs on the network with any talent. Perhaps it was his attitude that influenced the decision. Regardless, Batali is wildly successful and really doesn’t need the Food Network to bolster his fame. He is rumored to be starring in a new show with Gwyneth Paltrow in Spain.
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