Cooking with Balls

Trolling the foodie newsletters of this week and last, is a book that exclusively features testicle recipes. It’s called “Cooking with Balls”, authored by–get this– the “foremost authority on the subject of testicles”, Ljubomir Erovic of Serbia. How anybody gets that title, is beyond me. I’d rather not find out. He actually dedicated the book to his parents and grandmother, saying “To my parents and my grandmother Ruza Macic, for introducing me to the delicious world of testicles, even if they did lie about it!”

What are some of the recipes in said book, you ask?
Oh, testicle pizza, stew with goat testicles, testicles in wine, stew with bull penis, and the precious heart-shaped turkey testicles.  I’m pretty adventurous, but this may be where I find my limits. You can check out a sample version, here.

If you’ve ever sampled this delicacy, fill us in!

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Nikki Cascone of Top Chef on the Importance of Being a Leader

In my daily lunch time perusal of gossipy food sides, I came across an interview on the Strong Buzz with recently ousted Nikki Cascone of Top Chef. I found one question she answered, particularly amusing:

SB: What is your definition of a great chef?
NC: I think that a great chef needs to be a leader first and foremost. That Marco Pierre White brigade doesn’t exist anymore. People need to look up to you and you need to be able to lead and you need to know how to run a business because you’ll be out of business in three months if you don’t. A great chef needs to be very well rounded and have passion. I mean I cook every day and prep every day. I am here so that my cooks are here and learn from me and I am learning every day too. You can’t be afraid to do the work and lead by example.

Hmm, funny since Cascone left due to her complete and utter lack of leadership skils. In her one moment to shine and show her team how to prepare great Italian food, she fumbled. She didn’t trust any of her own ideas and couldn’t instruct anybody– even when they asked for her help! Lame…

Do you think she mucked it up royally or did she do her best? I invite any major Cascone fans (there must be some out there!) to dispute here.

10 Things Celebrity Chefs Won’t Tell You

From a post on SmartMoney.com yesterday, Jason Kephart rounded up some admissions that celebrity chefs have made in reference to things like their television shows, cookbooks, and appearances in their restaurants. For anyone with any knowledge of food reality, these should be commonly known, but it’s interesting to see them shamelessly admitted!

1. “I’m a celebrity first and second.”
Once chefs reach a certain level of fame, the actual cooking part of it becomes less important. Who could blame them? Very few successful restaurant chefs will say that they truly adore cooking for hordes of sometimes obnoxious, unforgiving customers.

2. “There’s absolutely no reason to buy my cookbook.”
Chefs admit the fact that one can find any recipe of theirs online, in most recipe databases, namely at FoodTV.com. Duh.

3. “Just because I have a cooking show does not mean that I’m a chef.”
We see this all the time with chefs on the Food Network like Rachael Ray and Sandra Lee. Sure people make fun but not everybody needs to cook like Mario Batali. There’s a celebrity chef for everybody. (even people with bad taste :P)

4. “Sex sells, even with foodies.”
There are other reasons for liking Giada DeLaurentis, Padma Lakshmi, and Dave Lieberman (personal fave), and it ain’t their cooking skills, refined as they might be.

5. “I’m addicted to porn– food porn that is.”
Making the food look good is important, ’nuff said.

6. “The dishes I make on TV don’t always work so great at home.”
This is a biggy as most of the dishes prepped on TV ( a la Food Network) are supposed to be made for prepping at home. See the full article for more on this.

7. “…and sometimes they’re just plain gross.”
In the past I’ve made a couple of recipes from chefs I was fond of, though they seemed questionable to me. I should have trusted my instincts! I learned that lesson the hard way.

8. “It might be my restaurant, but that doesn’t mean I cook there.”
Yea yea yea, if you expect Emeril and Mario Batali to be in all twenty of their restaurants on any given night, you’re sure to be disappointed.

9. “My show is one long commercial for my cookbooks.”
I kind of figured this one, but was surprised to hear people actually admit it.

10. “Bottom line: my celebrity status is great for business.”

So what about you? Are any of these surprising? Which celebrity chefs will you still respect no matter how fame got to their head?

Insatiable Gael Greene’s 2008 Predictions

I stumbled upon this hilarious list the other day that pokes fun at Food World Stars, New York Trends, and Products from the past year. I’m not a frequent reader of Insatiable Critic, but I just might have to become one after reading this spot-on list. Here are some of my favorites:

• Conceptual Dining will become the rage. The pleasure derived from the dish is found in its description alone. The dish, in fact, does not exist. A small fee will be charged.

• Jeffrey Chodorow and Frank Bruni will have a food fight in Madison Square Park televised by the Food Network. If Bruni loses he will be required to review restaurants in Des Moines for six months. If Chodorow is the loser he will be forbidden to open a new restaurant for three weeks.

• Each restaurant will be allowed one “enjoy” per table per evening. Violators will be pelted with stale bread and inferior focaccia.

• Restaurants will staff roving dining “tutors” to stop by each table with a five minute “Tabletalk” on the provenance of each ingredient on the menu. Before ordering, you will be quizzed on the content.

• Small Plates will give way to no plates, a trend for even healthier portion control. All food will be served on oak leaves, in clam shells or onto your outstretched palm.

• Wine makers will dose their generic table wine with immunity boosters, smart herbs and attach a siphon for sipping while biking. The trend will henceforth be known as “imbiking.”

• Boutique chocolate will be labeled with the production date and the chocolatier’s license and cell phone numbers. Chocolate tastings will be widely promoted, as well as the usual What to Drink with Chocolate selected by chocoholics.

• Cocktails can’t possibly get sweeter but they will. How about a carrot cake daiquiri? And pomegranate flavored vodka on the rocks made of smart water? I’ll take a yuzu martini, hold the kumquats please.

A Nominal Issue With Naming

While enjoying my little lunch break here and doing my daily perusal of Eater, I’m reminded of a trend with restaurant names. Taking a quick peek at the Eater Radar of recently opened and reviewed restaurants we find:

Aja, Lokal, Bacaro, Nizza, Bocca, Fiamma, Moim, Grayz, Nusara, Omido…

Notice a trend? Not to get too Seinfeldian here but honestly…

What is the deal… with restaurants calling themselves by one, often made up, word? I’m sure there is a very logical explanation and thought process behind each of these but honestly, who can keep them all straight? What happened to the days when restaurants had normal names that actually sounded meaningful? What about Cookshop? Hearth? Or even Momofuku? (at least it’s more creative) Wouldn’t one prefer to separate themselves from the pack rather than being caught in a haze of the lexiconally challenged? For my out-of-state readers, is this happening near you as well or is it just a Manhattan trend?

Mercy! Uncle! Whatever the phrase is. I’ve had enough.

Esquire’s “Let’s Call a Thousand Year Ban On”

I don’t generally read Esquire for restaurant reviews. Or, anything for that matter. But I found this list of restaurant pet peeves and many were spot-on fantastic. Do any of these irk you as much as they do me? Or the dudes at Esquire?

Mario Batali Nixed from Food Network

According to an article in today’s New York Post, Mario Batali has been given the boot by the Food Network. Batali rose to success hosting such shows as “Molto Mario”, “Ciao America”, and a plethora of appearances on “Iron Chef” while expanding his restaurant empire including NYC spots: Babbo, Esca, Lupa, Otto, Casa Mono, and Del Posto. According to the post, the network discontinued Batali’s shows and Batali refused to make future appearances on Iron Chef if Molto Mario was going away. I’m actually surprised that the Food Network cut Mario as many would say that he is one of few chefs on the network with any talent. Perhaps it was his attitude that influenced the decision. Regardless, Batali is wildly successful and really doesn’t need the Food Network to bolster his fame. He is rumored to be starring in a new show with Gwyneth Paltrow in Spain.

Top Chef Blasphemy

It is a sad day for any fans of Top Chef with common sense as one of few chefs left with any talent- Tre- was cut last night. I am absolutely baffled. There were so many weak links that could have been cut before Tre. How about Dale with his ridiculous scented candles, black table cloths and admission of having poor knife skills? Or Howie with his poor excuse for risotto and dried out Cuban pulled pork sandwiches? Tre is at fault for not improving his gorgonzola crusted filet on the second round, but he has had many fewer mishaps in the past than others.

This is blasphemy. The only cause I can attribute the loss of Tre to is the power of the producer. People like Hung, Howie, and even Sarah are controversial and make for entertaining shows. Keeping the audience’s interest is a reality of TV production. The most talented chefs are not always the most fun to watch. Thus- though I love Top Chef- the less worthy often win out.

I would also like to add that Stephen is a douche. Who decided to bring him back? He gives us winos a bad rep.

Mario Batali Hates on Food Blogs

Mario, I’m hurt. In a recent interview on Eater with Mario Batali, the famed Italian chef rants about why he dislikes food bloggers. He remarks that by hiding behind the veil of the web, food bloggers can be particularly “snarky” and vindictive without any evidence of research or credibility behind their claims. He seems to be a bit bitter about some recent gossip surrounding a Del Posto real estate issue. He has a point that blogs can get out of hand and I am sure there are some folks that post first and check facts second. However, when it comes down to it, food blogs provide restaurants with an obscene amount of free publicity. I am of the school of thought that all press is good press. He should be thanking us bloggers for even caring enough to talk about his restaurants. He recovers a bit in the end by saying that he does not hate the blogger he just “expects more from them.” Though I wrote a glowing Babbo review , I’m very disappointed that he would make such comments. In a highly competitive restaurant world, he should be delighted to have achieved the culinary throne on which he sits and eat a slice of humble pie.

Todd English Touched My Butt

So here’s the real dish on last night’s James Beard Awards. Ali and I were lucky enough to have scored press passes which gave us access to the press lounge, complete with champagne, hors d’oeuvres and the presence of every award winner. Immediately after each person gave their acceptance speeches, they were shuffled into the lounge where major food writers conducted interviews and photographers snapped desperate photos. Among them was little ol’ me, armed with my mini Casio Powershot. Being in the presence of such greatness is what made the evening for me. You’ll see in my Flickr that I even got a photo of me and Todd English (with a little push from Ali) during which time he uh… touched my butt. I’m pretty sure we’re going steady at this point. In any case, had I been at my seat in the theater with the other guests, it would have been a different story. Here are some of my photos:

Bobby Flay and Wolfgang Puck

Rising Star Chef Winner David Chang

Todd English and Padma Lakshmi- probably debating who is more attractive.

See, even Lakshmi can be caught in an awkward moment.

Cute chef preparing veal cheeks

White chocolate cheesecake with rhubarb and almond crumb

Raspberry-filled chocolate domes

While watching the ceremony from the televisions in the lounge and hearing the stories of other folks at the awards, it seems it was actually quite a flop. The host, Hannah Storm, was either really nervous or drunk. She was terribly awkward up there and was painful to watch with her flailing arms and stuttering speeches. The music was dreadful. The awards went on for four hours. 4 HOURS. A person can only handle so much! When the awards were finally over at 10PM and the doors opened for the walk around reception, people were antsy.

There were a lot of stellar dishes that I really enjoyed such as the duck meatballs from Andrew Carmellini, the Sonoma rabbit with fava bean crostini from Traci des Jardins and the free-form lasagna with maine-crab and parmesan from Todd English. My one complaint however is that there was far too much foie. Foie gras was rampant in a majority of the dishes that were offered and it was over the top. I love foie gras as much as the next girl, but it requires very little in preparation besides a fat wallet. Chefs that want to really flex their muscles, should not be making foie gras, in my humble opinion.
All of that aside, how did I do in my bets? Well, here were my predictions and the reality:

Outstanding Restaurateur Prediction: Thomas Keller
Reality: Thomas Keller (yay!)

Rising Star Chef Prediction: Daniel Humm
Reality: David Chang (booo)

Outstanding Chef Prediction: Jean Joho
Reality: Michel Richard (booo)

Outstanding Restaurant Prediction: Picholine
Reality: Frontera Grill (booo)

Best New Restaurant Prediction: L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon
Reality: L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon (yay!)

Oustanding Wine and Spirits Professional Prediction: Helen Turley
Reality: Paul Draper (boooo)

Best Chef: New York City Prediction: David Waltuck
Reality: David Waltuck (yay!)

3 out of 7. Oh well. Maybe next year I can make more educated guesses!