Table 8 (A Fresh Opening Turns Stale)

Table 8, in the controversial, neighborhood-shifting new Cooper Square hotel does little to make the locals happy for its existence. Our meal last Friday had issues that were downright deplorable, especially for experienced restaurateur Govind Armstrong who trained with Wolfang Puck, operated Table 8 in LA and South Beach and made a household name of himself through Top Chef appearances.

Adam Platt gave Table 8 a brutal review, in May but I wanted to give New York-newcomer Armstrong a chance. But even when I read the menu back in June, the Spanish goat cheese, “salt bar”, and snapper with lobster confused me.

It’s true that you can barely hear yourself think at Table 8. Even with a half-empty dining room, I was yelling to my friends who were seated close to me at our cozy four-top. Acoustics are quickly forgiven when the food and service is great, but the meal kept getting worse for us.

There is nothing unique about the “salt bar”, which consists of little $4 crudo and charcuterie. New restaurants don’t have to be revolutionary but if Table 8 chooses to jump on the bandwagon of a trend, it should do it well. The salmon crudo was dense and difficult to chew with an off, fishy taste. The sea bass was flavorless.

I’ll enjoy a fried goat cheese salad any day, but the seared cana de cabra with arugula, avocado and red onion was a confusing interplay of flavors and a messy presentation. A few of us ordered branzino with gnocchi, anticipating fresh, white-fleshed fish with pillowy pasta, but received a deep fried disaster with  five gnocchi pieces hidden underneath and some lifeless Summer squash on the side. The sauteed scallops that my friend ordered were well-prepared, but their wilted spinach accompaniment was over-seasoned, a complaint I’ve heard repeated in a few places on the web.  Everything tasted like it was prepared hours before and left under a heater. Where was the supposed fresh, California cuisine?

Even worse than the food was the rookie service. We had to grab the waiter as he ignored us and passed by, without offering drink refills. We had empty bread plates until we inquired about the bread. When it arrived it was stale and chewy, as if it had been sitting in the kitchen for days.

I struggle to think of anything positive about Table 8 aside from enjoying the company. For a bold hotel with a celebrity chef, the prices are soft, though still disproportionate to the quality of the experience. Oh, the soft leather chairs are also a benefit.

Per my friend Ashley, who dined with me:
First off, the service was pretty awful.  10 minutes passed before we were finally able to flag down the waiter and get some water, and request that our unlit candle be fired up.
We started with a few of the ’salt bar’ selections.  The fish tasted rancid and way too fishy.  A few of us ordered the Branzino.  The menu mentioned nothing about the fish being fried.  But alas, the fish was fried–maybe the chef was out and they only knew how to use the deep fryer?  I don’t know, but the whole meal tasted like crappy cafeteria food.  The quality was actually laughable.

I gave 2 stars rather than one because my cocktail was tasty, and the decor was pretty cool.  Maybe this place should just stick to drinks.

People have been complaining about the same issues at Table 8 since its May opening. It’s mid-September. Hey Govind, are you lost in L.A.? Come back to New York and fix up your restaurant.

Table 8: 25 Cooper Square (between 5th and 6th)

Average App/Entree Price: $11/$24
Food: Poor
Service: Poor
Value: Poor
You Gonna Finish That? Not even worth a doggy bag.

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Filed under East Village, Neighborhood, New American, Restaurant Reviews | Comments (3)