August 24th, 2007
So, I had some incredible inspiration last night as I was out in the Financial District aka the land of douche baggery. Why not post real, in-the-flesh douche quotes for my readers’ enjoyment? Thus I am beginning a new series called, for lack of a better term, “Douche Quotes.” If anyone can think of a better name for this, please let me know. Otherwise kick back as hilarity ensues….
Douche- Oh my god. My shirt is so tight! Must be because my muscles are so big. Seriously, it’s really tight. Hey have you guys ever been to Cheesecake Factory? It rocks!
Friend #1- Hey have you ever been to Applebee’s?
Douche- You guys like Applebee’s?
Me- Dude, she’s making fun of you.
Douche- Whatever, you guys don’t even know anything about food.
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I don’t know what your problem is, Cheesecake Factory is obviously the standard by which all food should be measured.
The other day waiting in line to buy law school books, I stood next to two douchetastic incoming first years. I wanted to make fun of them and the lame/overly confident things they were saying. But then I remembered that their souls are about to be crushed, so I just smirked to myself instead.
haha what were they saying?
Nothing memorable, really. Just talking about books and their lockers and general lameness. I’ll try to remember them next time.
AMAZING! forgot about that
I went to Cheesecake w my parents yesterday.
Cheesecake is fine and well, it’s just the presentation of it as an incredible experience, in the context it was in.
Yea, it’s fun to be a jerk.