May 10th, 2007
Oh Nickelback, you make it far too easy. This week’s lyrically retarded goes to their new song “Rockstar” which I heard for the first time this morning. I was worried that I did not have a lyrically retarded for this week until I heard this gem:
I’m through with standin’ in line
at clubs I’ll never get in
It’s like the bottom of the ninth
and I’m never gonna win <—beautiful analogy
this life hasn’t turned out
quite the way I want it to be
(Tell me what you want)
I want a brand new house
on an episode of Cribs <– um, wasn’t Nickelback ON Cribs like twice?
And a bathroom I can play baseball in <— why?
And a king size tub big enough
for ten plus me
–(Yea, So what you need)–
I need a credit card that’s got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet
–(Been there done that)–
I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and <–Cher, really? You uhhh, wanna rethink that?
James Dean is fine for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair and change my name <–isn’t his hair already kind of short?
[CHORUS]
‘Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars and
Live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap <– nice message for the kids
We’ll all stay skinny ’cause we just won’t eat <– nice message for the teenage ladies
we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
in the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s
Gonna wind up here
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleached blonde hair
And well…
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
–(I’ll have the quesadilla, ha-ha,)–
I’m gonna dress my ass
with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
blow my money for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I’m gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair
And change my name
‘Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
we’ll all stay skinny ’cause we just won’t eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
in the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blonde hair
And we’ll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary of <–are dictionaries cool these days?
today’s who’s who
They’ll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody’s got a
drug dealer on speed dial, well <– another nice message for the kids
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
I’m gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
from a Pez dispenser
Get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip –sync– ‘em every night so I don’t get ‘em wrong
Well we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in Hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny ’cause we just won’t eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
in the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
And we’ll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary of
today’s who’s who
They’ll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody’s got a
drug dealer on speed dial,well
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
I think I hit the major points on this one but really, the sky’s the limit on making fun of Nickelback. Got anything to add?
Related Posts:
Lyrically Retarded #2Lyrically Retarded #6Lyrically Retarded #1 Addendum
Filed under Uncategorized | Comments (6)
Subscribe in RSS
I have no words…
I’m pretty sure this is Nickleback making fun of themselves and the typical “rockstar” lifestyle in general. It might not be too smart, but I’m gonna have to go ahead and disagree w this lyrically retarded episode. Let’s face it…nothing beats “this is why I’m hot”…
are you actually defending Nickelback?
worst song I ever heard?
My name is peaches and I’m the best/All the Dj’s want to feel my (chest)
From “Coming to America”.
This is almost as bad as the Strums eating babies, not quite, but close…
is there a song about that? There definitely should be.